"Navigating  Life's Transitions"

Metaphorical steps, roads, paths, doors, windows, stairs, bridges – they’re all a part of our lives’ journeys.  And they all represent transitions of sorts, many unexpected.  How do you make sense of things when you find yourself at a stage of your life where you never imagined you’d be?  How do you cope, adjust to a totally unforeseen circumstance?

Perhaps you’re single and lonely at an age when you thought you’d be part of a couple.  Perhaps you’re going through a devastating divorce, or even a custody battle.  Perhaps you’ve graduated from college and can’t find a job in your field.  Perhaps you’ve worked hard and been a loyal employee for many years, and you’ve been laid off just as you were about to retire, the rug pulled out from under you.   Perhaps your home is going into foreclosure or you’re facing the loss of your business.  Perhaps you have an illness that’s cramping your style, or someone you love is ailing, even dying.  Perhaps you’ve lost a beloved pet.

Or on the other hand… Perhaps you’ve just been married or entered a loving relationship.  Perhaps you’ve started a long-awaited family.  Perhaps you’ve moved to a great new area, purchased a new home that you love.  Perhaps you’re gainfully employed, have no financial worries, and you and your family are doing just fine.  You’re healthy, fit, and have everything you need.

The ironic thing is that any combination of scenarios in the above two descriptions can (and usually do) happen to all of us, at different times in our lives.  That’s because change is an integral part of life, and that’s just the way it is.  We ride a roller coaster of ups and downs, we all do – it’s part of the human condition.  Nothing stays the same.

So the question, again, is how do we deal with all this?  What are our reactions to outside circumstances?  Our emotions may range from depression to shock to anger, to anxiety and fear, to surprise and excitement, and ultimately to joy at the prospect of new opportunities for growth.  It’s almost a cliché, for sure, but I feel it’s so true that it bears repeating:  It’s not what happens on the outside, it’s how we respond on the inside that really matters.

Some folks are mighty adaptable.  They are the enviable ones who go with the flow, roll with the punches, take it on the chin and move forward.  They are confident that whatever comes their way they’ll be able to handle and come out stronger on the other end.

Then there are those – many – who have a much harder time.  When bad times come, these folks may accept “in their heads” that “this too shall pass” and better times will return, but they find it much more difficult to convince their hearts.  These are the folks who, though often very capable and intelligent, are also quite sensitive.  They seek to stay out of the kitchen when it gets too hot.  They’re not quite sure if they can handle the heat, although they’d like very much to think that they can.  They often enter a vicious cycle of berating themselves for “failing,” as well as failing to cope, which only makes the original situation worse.

But the good news is that there’s help.  In this day and age, we’ve come far enough in our knowledge of human emotions and psychology, and the mind/body connection, that those going through difficult times have available to them a plethora of resources to help steer them back to a happier road, no matter what’s going on in their lives.

There is a shed chockful of tools to ease the journey… indeed, to turn what may have seemed a severe stab in the back into the beginning of a whole new and more fulfilling life.  We need to at least be open to this possibility, for one never knows what awaits on the other side of the door that just closed with a bang behind us. 

It’s largely up to us, with a caring and helping hand if we need one… and then it’s what we make of it.