“Money Matters… But How Much?” 

Recently I’ve been pondering this thing about “keeping up with the Joneses.”  If I'm happy with my own life, why would I want the “things” that are simply external…. to someone else’s?  And if I’m not happy, doesn’t it make more sense to figure out what my vision for my own life is, and take steps to create it, rather than simply copying someone else’s?

Beyond having enough to cover my own and my family’s daily basic needs (and enough extra for some fun), I no longer (and never really did) feel that my happiness depends on “how much” I have or “how fancy” it appears.  I’ve spent my life judging myself and (perhaps naively) assuming society judged me by my actions and my character, not my possessions or net worth.

Although I never cared what kind of car you were driving, or how big and expensive your house was compared to mine, I admit I used to worry a lot more about money than I do now.  Having survived the recession but endured job loss (i.e. “security”) like so many others, I have had to boldly shift how I viewed the financial part of life.  So many Americans have been through worse than I.  Partly that is because of my professional background and stage in life.  And indeed I’m one of the lucky ones, with a great support system of friends and family around me.  But I still had to deal with my ego and “identity” – which had for long depended partially around what I did for a living and how much money I made.

I also had to deal with fear.  I used to see money as a shield against other things that scared me.  What if this happened, or if that happened?  Well, if there were enough money we’d somehow be able to deal with it.  I still know that money is a necessary tool for living and, if not the only solution to hard times, certainly can help enormously in making it through them.  Having a “cushion” definitely adds peace of mind, especially when looking toward one’s golden years.

Although it’s been quite challenging, I feel I’ve grown in many ways as a result of this difficult transition.  I’ve learned that accepting a somewhat smaller financial “cushion” is not as bad a tradeoff as I’d first imagined.  Ironically, I now find I have a larger “cushion” against the stress inherent in participating in the rat race!   Again, I know that I’m fortunate to afford the choice I’ve made to seek fulfillment – at least for now – through self-employment, and this has proven extremely rewarding.  I’ve found I have an affinity for a simpler lifestyle than the one I had been used to.  I’ve had the opportunity to learn new things I didn’t have time for before; I’ve even learned to rejoice in the love of two precious pets – something I didn’t make time for since my adolescent years.  And I’ve learned to treasure, more than ever, the people closest to me.

All in all, I guess what I’m saying is that although “keeping up with the Joneses” in the sense of “conspicuous consumption” was never that important to me, I still harbored the same financial anxieties and concerns that most of us do.  But after living for some time with the shock of having “the rug pulled out from under me” following many years of working for others, I chose not to let circumstances defeat me.  With time and lots of support from wonderful people, I decided to figure out what my vision for the rest of my life really is – by examining my highest core values and priorities.  I took steps to create my own career and personal “collage,” by crafting together the best materials and skills I’d accumulated over the years from a wide range of varied work, life experiences, and passions.  The journey is ongoing.  I’m so glad to be both captain and passenger, and I look forward to a world full of exploration.